Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him. ~H.L. Mencken, A Book of Burlesques, 1916
The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly. ~Peter De Vries
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ~Rita Rudner
Marriage, n. A community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all two. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open. ~George Bernard Shaw
Newlyweds become oldyweds, and oldyweds are the reasons that families work. ~Author Unknown
Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. ~Simone Signoret
Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~Barnett R. Brickner
A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. ~Anne Taylor Fleming
Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you'll meet that night. ~Paul Hornung
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. ~Doug Larson
Divorce: The past tense of marriage. ~Author Unknown
One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. ~Judith Viorst
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. ~Katherine Hepburn
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. ~Robert Anderson,Solitaire & Double Solitaire
There is no such cozy combination as man and wife. ~Menander
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being. ~Benjamin Disraeli
The sum which two married people owe to one another defies calculation. It is an infinite debt, which can only be discharged through eternity. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. ~Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints, 1966
In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy. The truth is precisely the opposite: it begins all. ~Anne Sophie Swetchine
In a time when nothing is more certain than change, the commitment of two people to one another has become difficult and rare. Yet, by its scarcity, the beauty and value of this exchange have only been enhanced. ~Robert Sexton
An object in possession seldom retains the same charm that it had in pursuit. ~Pliny the Younger, Letters
If you made a list of the reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing. ~W. Somerset Maugham
If two stand shoulder to shoulder against the gods,
Happy together, the gods themselves are helpless
Against them while they stand so.
~Maxwell Anderson
After the chills and fever of love, how nice is the 98.6º of marriage! ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
There is no substitute for the comfort supplied by the utterly taken-for granted relationship. ~Iris Murdoch
English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. ~Author Unknown
A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. ~Paul Sweeney
Matrimony is a process by which a grocer acquired an account the florist had. ~Francis Rodman
Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose. ~Beverley Nichols
Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is. ~Author Unknown
Love is a flower which turns into fruit at marriage. ~Finnish Proverb
A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together. ~James H. Boren
All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble. ~Raymond Hull
One of the good things that come of a true marriage is, that there is one face on which changes come without your seeing them; or rather there is one face which you can still see the same, through all the shadows which years have gathered upon it. ~George MacDonald
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will, he will be sure to repent. ~Socrates
Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. ~Mark Twain
Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you. ~Jean Rostand, Le Mariage, 1927
Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. ~Isadora Duncan
When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part. ~G.B. Shaw, Getting Married, 1908
A first-rate marriage is like a first-rate hotel: expensive, but worth it. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day. ~Gene Perret
Here's to matrimony, the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented! ~Heinrich Heine
The reason for much matrimony is patrimony. ~Ogden Nash
I figure that the degree of difficulty in combining two lives ranks somewhere between rerouting a hurricane and finding a parking place in downtown Manhattan. ~Claire Cloninger, "When the Glass Slipper Doesn't Fit and the Silver Spoon is in Someone Else's Mouth"
A man's wife has more power over him than the state has. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, Journals
Marriage: that I call the will of two to create the one who is more than those who created it. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. ~Author Unknown
Though marriage makes man and wife one flesh, it leaves 'em still two fools. ~William Congreve
Marriage ceremony: an incredible metaphysical sham of watching God and the law being dragged into the affairs of your family. ~O.C. Ogilvie
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